rachel person

Jun

2018

The Fort

By Rachel Person (photo credit: Rachel)

When I was 6, I built my first outdoor fort. I’d had lots of practice with the indoor kind – couch, blanket, and a few solid books – and I felt I was ready for the hammer and nails and a whole lot of faith to hold it up kind of fort. My neighbor friend, Julie, and I decided to use some of the leftover wood and material scraps from a home being built close by to build our own dream mansion (think Barbie but no Ken). Like any good set of architects, we had detailed plans drawn out with our Mr. Sketch markers, of course. The colors alone made our plan indestructible (the fruit flavored scents made it extra special). We gathered the necessary tools and materials we needed for building, without asking I’m sure. Needless to say, after a decent amount of time, hard work, and lots of kool-aid, our princess fortress was complete. Picture a castle made of particle board flooring and four somewhat symmetrical walls – I think our construction could’ve been mistaken as abstract art to a passerby, quite frankly.

I remember vividly being so proud of what we had accomplished and although it didn’t really look quite as good as it did on paper, it was ours. We spent lots of time in our fort playing M.A.S.H., dressing Strawberry shortcake, and laughing. It was a safe place and one that made us feel protected and invincible. We even gave it a “homey” feel by laying out a front door rug (carpet remnant) and decorating the outside with hearts and clouds and rainbows, because that’s what every 6 year old girl is REALLY good at drawing.

I’ll never forget the morning we came out and saw someone had destroyed our fort. Not in the way you’re probably imagining. It was all still intact. The walls were all still standing. The beauty we’d created on the outside with our 6 year old hearts, rainbows, and clouds had been exchanged for swear words and mean things written in permanent marker all over the entire fort. I was devastated. I remember crying and wondering why someone would do this to our special fort. I remember thinking it would never be the same. It was permanent. And black. And horrible (and not just because they didn’t smell good like Mr. Sketch’s do).

I’ve had lots of moments in life where I’ve felt that lump in my throat, pit in my stomach, tears welling up in my eyes feeling that I did on the day I saw my 6 year old dream house vandalized. During the times in my life when I feel this way because of words people say or things they do that make my self-esteem plummet and my bright, beautiful, heart and rainbows and sunshine world seem grey and stormy and dark, I remember this:

I have a choice. I can respond in anger or I can forgive. I can become bitter or better. I can want revenge or release it. I can allow someone else to control my emotions or I can be in control and remind myself of the truth. I can let someone else’s words define me or I can stand firm in what God says about who I am.

When I was 6 they hadn’t invented the magic eraser white sponges. My dream home never was the same. Those black permanent marker words remained and we never used our fort again. It didn’t feel safe anymore. It didn’t feel the same. I don’t know what words have been spoken to you, or what has been said about you, or who has hurt you. There may be permanent black marker words written on your heart. I am, however, confident of this : The God of the universe created you and I in HIS image and you are not defined by what the world says about you. There will be unkindness, hurtful words, spiteful deeds, and harmful experiences in your life. In those times, I encourage you to cling to these words from the one who loves you and knows you more than anyone else :

John 16:33 “I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart for I have overcome the world.”

Rachel Person…
is a married, Midwest, mother of 5. She’s an ENFP, coffee addicted, sunshine adoring, outdoor adventuring, jeep driving, adrenaline addict. As a 2-time American Ninja Warrior competitor, she’s an energetic, eternal optimist with a passion for pull-ups, photography, and people.

To connect with Rachel on social media, click the links below:

Mar

2018

A Long Pause: Trusting in God’s silence

By Rachel Person

“Because I said so.”

“I don’t know why and neither does anyone else.”

“It’s just the way it is.”

“You don’t need to know the reason, you just need to listen and obey.”

“Because that’s how we’ve always done it.”

These answers to my numerous and sometimes incessant childhood questions were never sufficient enough for me. As an inquisitive and curious child who grew up to be an adult with an insatiable love of learning and discovering, I have always needed to know the WHY. (the who, what, when, and where are good too ☺) Needless to say, I like details. All of them. I love piecing the world together and seeing how it all fits. My personality and the way my brain sees and processes the world means that the above answers will do nothing but frustrate me. When I was younger, if someone gave me a generic, cardboard answer to one of my questions (probably because they didn’t know or didn’t want to take the time to explain it), I would find a way to discover the truth myself (needless to say I LOVED my encyclopedias) Anyone who knows me now knows I am constantly researching and looking things up on a wide variety of topics. I love random facts of knowledge as well as learning about anything new. Unfortunately, I discovered quickly as a child that there are questions that can’t be answered with a nice, tidy, perfect little “box with a bow on top” answer; and it’s something I still wrestle with as an adult today.

My oldest child, Charis, basically spent her entire childhood competing as a gymnast and it truly was a passion and gift that God had blessed her with. She swiftly and quickly moved up the competitive levels and by age 10 was already competing as a level 10 gymnast, which is the highest level of competition below elite gymnasts. When she was 14, she was invited to come to the Karolyi Ranch in Texas and train at the USA Gymnastics National Team Training Center. Of course, she was thrilled and her heart was ecstatic to think that after years of hard work and all of the countless hours of training, her dream was becoming a reality. As her mother, I was so proud of her and happy to see Charis’ determination, tenacity, perseverance and dedication being recognized with a chance of a lifetime being offered to her – to pursue the possibility of becoming an elite gymnast and eventually go to the Olympics.

Charis and I had our tickets booked for Texas and two days before we were to leave, she broke her elbow in practice badly enough to require surgery. As you can imagine, she was devastated. My heart ached for her and that child-like, give-me-an-answer-now voice in me wanted to scream “WHY?” at the top of my lungs. Any parent who has watched their child in a moment of pain, hurt, frustration or hopelessness knows EXACTLY what I mean. I was angry. Angry at the situation that was out of anyone’s control. Angry at God for allowing this to happen. Angry that I couldn’t fix the situation (because that’s what moms do best). Angry that my daughter may have just lost the chance of a lifetime. Angry that I had to hold it all together for everyone else and especially Charis (because that is also what moms do best). I vividly remembering praying (really it was me questioning and trying to get some answers) to God and begging him to show me the WHY for all of this. I had always told myself up until this point that God had reasons for why things happened the way they did, even if I didn’t always understand them. I had also told my children this, especially in the hardest of times. In this moment though, I just didn’t believe it. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. In all honesty, I felt like God “owed” it to Charis to allow her dream to become a reality and I was angry that His timing had closed this door on this once in a lifetime possibility. Charis, with her determined and competitive attitude continued to compete at the highest level of gymnastics for 2 more years, but endured injury after injury during that time. Her surgeries from gymnastics totaled seven, and it was more apparent than ever that, although there wasn’t a reason our finite minds understood, God’s plan for Charis’ life as a gymnast was different than hers.

Fast forward twelve years. I have an amazingly successful 26 year old daughter who has graduated from medical school and is currently an OB/GYN resident. She used the life lessons she learned through gymnastics, along with the other obstacles, hurdles, roadblocks and detours life threw at her over the years, to make her stronger and even more focused, determined and tougher than she already was. Last month, God the supreme architect, hit me with a 2×4 as I read headline after headline detailing the sexual abuse of gymnasts at the Karolyi Ranch by the team doctor, Larry Nassar. In that moment, God answered my WHY that had been so heavy on my heart for so many years. Do I know that Charis would’ve been abused there? No. But God does. And as the puzzle pieces fit together, I wept as I felt the protection and love that God had shown for Charis by keeping her from making that trip to Texas so many years ago. I was reminded (as I have been on so many occasions) that I need to trust that God truly does have our best interests at heart, even when it doesn’t make sense or the WHY isn’t clear. Ultimately, the scars from seven surgeries pale in comparison to the scars that could’ve been left forever had Charis gone to Karolyi Ranch. God, in his infinite wisdom, knew better than all of us what He was doing and what plans He had for Charis. My heart aches for all of the innocent girls that had to endure the abuse from that monster of a man, but I’m so thankful that God protected Charis. Today, I am thankful for a broken elbow 12 years ago. Tomorrow, although I still may not like it, I’ll be much more patient, understanding and trusting of when God is silent or simply gives me this answer to my questions:

Dear Rachel,

“Because I said so.”

Love, God

“’For I know the plans I have for you’ says the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.’”

Jeremiah 29:11

Rachel Person…
is a married, Midwest, mother of 5. She’s an ENFP, coffee addicted, sunshine adoring, outdoor adventuring, jeep driving, adrenaline addict. As a 2 time American Ninja Warrior competitor, she’s an energetic, eternal optimist with a passion for pull-ups, photography, and people.

To connect with Rachel on social media, click the links below:

Jan

2018

Vision – a guest post by Rachel Person

by Rachel Person

When I was a teenager, I worked at a Christian book and music store. One of our frequent and regular customers was a blind man. I was always amazed at how easily he recognized my voice and called me by name. He was a great conversationalist, had a great smile and laugh, and had a positive, upbeat, and optimistic demeanor. I remember at my young age being so impressed at his ability to live such a self-sufficient, happy, and purpose-filled life.

One day, in one of our many conversations at the store, he told me he had been blind since birth. I had oftentimes wondered and struggled with which scenario would be worse: would it be harder to be blind from birth or have sight, lose it, and then forever know what you were missing? I asked him if he ever wondered what he looked like or how he envisioned other people in his mind since he couldn’t see them. I’ll NEVER forget his response:

“I do see people, Rachel, but not in the same way you or most of the seeing world does. I don’t consider my blindness to be a handicap, but simply something that forces me to see people the way God does. I see their hearts. I hear their kindness and encouragement in their words, tone, and voice. I feel their love in the way they hug me, serve me, and care for me. I can see them for who they truly are because things on the outside are invisible to me.”

I have come back to this conversation and the words that were exchanged numerous times over the course of my life. I decided at my young age of 16 to try throughout my life to see people as he did. And as God did. I didn’t want to see through my eyes anymore – all the materialistic, outer shell appearances that the world said mattered. I wanted to see people with my heart.
I love the quote, “If the whole world were blind, how many people would you impress?” (Tweet this) I think of the number of industries and the amount of money spent focusing on our outward appearance. I’ll be the first person to admit that I love being fancy and being a girly girl and getting all dressed up. I also love throwing my hair in a braid, putting on a hat, and wearing a t-shirt and shorts while driving in my jeep. However, the older I get, the less I’m trying to focus on the outside (it’s deteriorating quickly anyways ☺) and more on the inside and on what truly matters in this life. I’ve still got a TON of work to do. There’s some ugly things deep down inside of me. However, I am trying to dig down into those places and make them beautiful too. The most beautiful people I’ve known in my lifetime are those whose hearts are kind to others. “Beauty fades. A beautiful heart lasts forever.” My prayer is that God will continue to keep these aging eyes laser focused, seeing clearly with 20/20 sharp vision, able to look deeply into the hearts of others. May I seek and find beauty in all people as God does and love them with His vision and sight.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes,

because that is the doorway to her heart,

the place where love resides.

True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It’s the caring that she lovingly gives,

the passion that she shows

And the beauty of a woman only grows

with passing years.”

~ Audrey Hepburn

To connect with Rachel on social media, click the links below:

Dec

2017

The Light of Christmas – a guest post by Rachel Person

by Rachel Person

I LOVE Christmas. It has always been one of my most favorite times of the year as far back as I can remember. Admittedly, I am a nostalgia queen and Christmas, with its traditions galore, is the perfect time to reflect back and reminisce upon all that means most to me. I also love DECORATING for Christmas. I think I have a total of 10 extra large totes full of Christmas decorations. Not. Kidding. Anyone who has been to my home during the Christmas season has seen the “explosion of Christmas” that occurs all over the house every year!

I would venture to guess that most people, both young and old, would agree that one of their favorite parts of Christmas is the tree. (possibly for the kids because of what it holds underneath) Each family has their own traditions of what kind (real vs. artificial), what style (humble or ornate), what theme (Disney or kids’ ornaments or popcorn garland) and some even down to the tree variety (spruce, fir, or pine, oh my!). I know several families that make it a tradition to go soon after Thanksgiving (trudging through the snow, uphill both ways of course ☺) on the quest for the “perfect” tree. I always laugh a little on the inside when I see all of the trees strapped to the tops of the cars on their jaunt home (think “Christmas Vacation”).

We are an artificial family. As in tree. (Otherwise we are about as real as it gets, and let me say, it’s not always pretty). I haul up 2 of the 10 Christmas bins, crank up the Christmas music and spend the next 2 hours setting up our tree, fluffing branches, climbing up and down from the stool a few hundred times, until the magical moment happens and it is standing in its glory in the middle of the big picture window. And then I silently think to myself, “why hasn’t someone invented a Christmas tree that sets up itself? I’m pretty sure Inspector Gadget could’ve had a button for that. Go, go gadget Christmas tree!” I digress.

This year, as I stood and admired the tree towering above me (and my perfect branch fluffing abilities-haha!), I thought about how plain it looked. Although it’s always been “perfect” and “ours,” what it was lacking was so very evident in that moment. What separates a Christmas tree from any other tree is its LIGHT. As I began to string the lights around the tree – and grumble slightly about my Christmas light conspiracy theory that they purposefully make them so they last just under a year and you therefore have to invest in new ones EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR – my heart beamed as brightly as the tree because I realized in that moment what an exact and perfect representation it was of what Christmas is truly about.

CHRISTmas is the time of year when we remember and celebrate Jesus’ birth ~ the light of the world came to be born, live in human form, and bring us out of darkness. (Tweet this) God looked down from heaven and saw the world He had created and although it was good, He knew His creation needed a Savior. We needed the LIGHT. As I stepped back in awe looking at my brightly lit Christmas tree, I immediately saw the difference light makes. What a stark contrast to the plain, darkened tree I had just looked upon a few moments before. It now shone so brightly in its glory. Just like that tree, I have also seen the difference Jesus’ light has made in my own life over the years. What was once in the dark is now full of His glorious love and light.

How thankful I am for the greatest gift of light that God sent for me and for the world in His son, Jesus. This Christmas, may the LIGHT of the world be yours and may He SHINE brightly on you, in you and through you, as you remember the reason for this season.

John 12:46 “I have come into the world as LIGHT, so that everyone who believes in ME will not remain in darkness.”

LOVE and LIGHT,
Rachel

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