By Rachel Person (photo credit: Rachel)
When I was 6, I built my first outdoor fort. I’d had lots of practice with the indoor kind – couch, blanket, and a few solid books – and I felt I was ready for the hammer and nails and a whole lot of faith to hold it up kind of fort. My neighbor friend, Julie, and I decided to use some of the leftover wood and material scraps from a home being built close by to build our own dream mansion (think Barbie but no Ken). Like any good set of architects, we had detailed plans drawn out with our Mr. Sketch markers, of course. The colors alone made our plan indestructible (the fruit flavored scents made it extra special). We gathered the necessary tools and materials we needed for building, without asking I’m sure. Needless to say, after a decent amount of time, hard work, and lots of kool-aid, our princess fortress was complete. Picture a castle made of particle board flooring and four somewhat symmetrical walls – I think our construction could’ve been mistaken as abstract art to a passerby, quite frankly.
I remember vividly being so proud of what we had accomplished and although it didn’t really look quite as good as it did on paper, it was ours. We spent lots of time in our fort playing M.A.S.H., dressing Strawberry shortcake, and laughing. It was a safe place and one that made us feel protected and invincible. We even gave it a “homey” feel by laying out a front door rug (carpet remnant) and decorating the outside with hearts and clouds and rainbows, because that’s what every 6 year old girl is REALLY good at drawing.
I’ll never forget the morning we came out and saw someone had destroyed our fort. Not in the way you’re probably imagining. It was all still intact. The walls were all still standing. The beauty we’d created on the outside with our 6 year old hearts, rainbows, and clouds had been exchanged for swear words and mean things written in permanent marker all over the entire fort. I was devastated. I remember crying and wondering why someone would do this to our special fort. I remember thinking it would never be the same. It was permanent. And black. And horrible (and not just because they didn’t smell good like Mr. Sketch’s do).
I’ve had lots of moments in life where I’ve felt that lump in my throat, pit in my stomach, tears welling up in my eyes feeling that I did on the day I saw my 6 year old dream house vandalized. During the times in my life when I feel this way because of words people say or things they do that make my self-esteem plummet and my bright, beautiful, heart and rainbows and sunshine world seem grey and stormy and dark, I remember this:
I have a choice. I can respond in anger or I can forgive. I can become bitter or better. I can want revenge or release it. I can allow someone else to control my emotions or I can be in control and remind myself of the truth. I can let someone else’s words define me or I can stand firm in what God says about who I am.
When I was 6 they hadn’t invented the magic eraser white sponges. My dream home never was the same. Those black permanent marker words remained and we never used our fort again. It didn’t feel safe anymore. It didn’t feel the same. I don’t know what words have been spoken to you, or what has been said about you, or who has hurt you. There may be permanent black marker words written on your heart. I am, however, confident of this : The God of the universe created you and I in HIS image and you are not defined by what the world says about you. There will be unkindness, hurtful words, spiteful deeds, and harmful experiences in your life. In those times, I encourage you to cling to these words from the one who loves you and knows you more than anyone else :
John 16:33 “I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart for I have overcome the world.”
Rachel Person…
is a married, Midwest, mother of 5. She’s an ENFP, coffee addicted, sunshine adoring, outdoor adventuring, jeep driving, adrenaline addict. As a 2-time American Ninja Warrior competitor, she’s an energetic, eternal optimist with a passion for pull-ups, photography, and people.
To connect with Rachel on social media, click the links below:
