Originally published 7/2/10 on Blogger:
My getting more organized lately has been part of an ‘identity’ crisis – I have been pondering my purpose/mission/goals/etc lately and have not gotten far. See, I used to be the kind of gal who would get lots of things done, who was on this committee and that committee, organizing events left and right. You know the type…seemingly, almost annoyingly, on top of things to a T.
Well, I am definitely NOT on top of things anymore. For awhile I thought it was because of an incident that occured back in the spring of 2007. But now that’s been 3 years, so I can’t blame that anymore. Then I was thinking it was because of the new little guy in our clan. But he’s 20 months old now, so I can’t blame it on him anymore either. I’ve run out of things to put the blame on and am left only with myself. That is never good – or fun, for that matter. Because then the questions start….
So am I just getting older and wiser and know how to better discern what I should be doing? Or am I getting lazy and that’s why I don’t do as much as I used to?
Have I turned into this shy, scared person or am I just leary of opening up to people because of past hurts done to me?
Who am I becoming? Who do I WANT to become?
Why do I feel so off-kilter still?
How can I get back to how I was….or should I even be trying to do that? I certainly don’t want to be like the star quarterback from high school still trying to live out the glory days 20 years later. haha
How can I BEST use my gifts/talents for the Lord? How can I BEST serve in my home, church and community? I only have so much time…
What do you do when the questions attack you? Do you talk it out with someone close to you or to lots of different people? Do you retaliate with the promises of God? Do you just ignore them and plug ahead, losing yourself in the busyness of each day?
